I can’t write left-handed ………….?

24 Dec

So I was having a conversation with a girlfriend, an old bestie, which got me thinking. Said girlfriend is one of those brainy thinking types who thoughts are usually above the reasoning realm of most of us but once in a while, I get it………

Try as we might to exercise, be gluten-free, be sugar-free and ‘do no harm’ we are living in possibly the most unnatural state nature intended for us. We are trying to write left- handed. A lot of things we do don’t come naturally to us but we conform, cajole, squeeze and suck it up until it ‘fits’.

Take for example; child-rearing (yeah I know the clock is ticking). In Europe in 1975 the mean age at first birth was 24.5, in 2000 it was 28,  now it is more like 35. Women over 40 have children BUT with an increased mortality rate. So if you have a child at 40, in approximately 5 years menopause will kick in: why would you mix the temper tantrum of a pre-schooler with your hot flushes?! It don’t make no sense………….And yet here I am at 32 and thinking I still have time……..

High heels…….man us girls love us some heels! Makes everything look and feel tight. Legs look muscley, ass is tight and step is swinging but let’s be honest ladies, is the pain really worth it? I don’t wanna lie to you, I have me flat African feet! They are wide and they need room to breathe…..Most of today’s shoes seem to be geared towards fairies. They are soo slender you could never hope to slip into them as Cinderella did, let alone on a hot summer’s day when the swelling begins. But off we go buy the 4 inch heels that you take off ½ way through the night so you can walk around on germ-infested floors barefoot! They look good so why not……………

Whilst we’re talking about clothes, there’s jeans! Oh lawdy lawd! If I had a dollar for every time my husband asks me why I wear those jeans, are they even comfortable? I come up with all sorts of justifications, they’ll be fine once they are one, I just washed them so they shrunk. Chingy had us covered: “I bet you had to jump up and down Just to put ’em on, Bet you had to wiggle it around Just to put ’em on, Bet you had to lay back on the bed Just to zip ’em up!” Soo true………………..

Then there is the food we stuff down our throats! Oh the humanity………..or lack of it! I guarantee you that if I eat something I shouldn’t I feel stuffed, sick or ‘sleepy’. Don’t get it twisted, this doesn’t stop me. There is a delightful French bakery round the corner; well to be honest it’s a 20-miute walk, but OMG! The pastries, the chocolate raspberry ganache it’s just sinful. Then there is my dear friend alcohol…….any form will do beer, wine, cocktails, straight spirit: I do not discriminate. But see when I was 20 I could go out eat what I wanted, drink everything in sight , do this three days in a row and come go to work no problem………now…………it’s just a sad tale…..I have to sleep early all week just to catch up plus my stomach is not a happy camper! Some clothes are soo tight you can’t even laugh freely! I wear heels all day, two days in a row and my toes are numb and feet ache for days!  So from now on: I wear comfortable clothes, flat shoes and no makeup. It’s not that I don’t care it’s just well, I wanna be comfortable dammit!

I probably should learn to ‘listen to my body more’ and I do try….if I have a headache I try and drink water first before reaching for that pill. If I have an ache I will try a massage/stretching before I reach for those horse-tranquilizers (well some anti-inflammatories might as well be they are soo strong). I eat lot of fresh, fruit and veggies, stay away from gluten as much as I can, I have cut out bread expect when @ restaurants, I exercise regularly, use products that are paraben and sulphate-free make sure I am in-tune with my body………….it’s hard work when the advertising world is hell bent on having their way with you!

There is something to be said about going back to the way we used to eat, pray and love…………..in the meantime we’ll all try to write left-handed……………………..


2 Responses to “I can’t write left-handed ………….?”

  1. alice December 31, 2011 at 1:04 pm #



  2. LensTHERAPY December 29, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    Great Post. I guess you are right. But the human body is highly adaptable. And as unnatural as heels and jeans etc are, as long as they don’t kill you, your body will probably say, yeah this sucks, but whatever bitch :). With all the unnatural stuff, we are living much longer than before. It’s crazy. I could go on.


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