Party of five…..

The date was Friday 20^th October, yes we’re back to dates. So far the pregnancy had been plagued with extreme fatigue and debilitating hunger…. And I am not being dramatic. If I didn’t eat every 2 to 3 hours my body would literally starting to shut down. If I wasn’t pregnant I’d be going in to get checked for diabetes. So as result I wasn’t very keen on making the immense effort to go in for an ultrasound.

 

The first one is usually a dating one, as I saw it if it’s even two weeks out it’s not going to drastically change anything when you’re in it for life. Julie at the Dr’s office insisted I get one done, make sure everything is ok blah blah blah. So on that Friday afternoon I found myself at Chinatown Radiology, patiently waiting 45 minutes after my scheduled appointment trying not to pee myself and anxious to get back to work. They called my name and I went in, gingerly lying on the table lest I pee. 2 minutes into the ultrasound:

Him: Is this your first ultrasound?

Me: Yes.

Him: You say you’re 11 weeks along?

Me: Yes.

Him: Do twins run in your family?

Me: Yeess……….why?

Him: You’re got twins in there!

Me: You’re joking right?

Him: No, look ….

Me: Oh wow

Him: You have someone with you here right?

Me: No, it’s just me.

Him: (trying to dispel the panic) Twins are a blessing, you will have so much fun, don’t worry about it

Me: Hmmmmmm…. Ok

He was a lovely Phillipino man who proceeded to give me all sorts of reassurances. All I could think of was I hear you but…….

My first sms was to Baba saying I needed to talk to him right away, he was at work. When I spoke to him all he could say was “Wow, ok… wow, for real, ok, wow………..” (you get the picture). Gogo I called in the middle of the night her time and I imagine not much more sleep was had that night.

How did this happen you might wonder, well besides the obvious I do have twins in my family, Karl doesn’t. I did however initially think we only had 2 sets of twins, then I remembered Blondie and Mudhara in NYC and then last week Gogo reminded me of Sekuru Tafadzwa’s 2 identical 4 year-old girls. Then she asked around and they are 3 other sets of twins in the family…. there really was no escape, it just perhaps should been the first pregnancy not the second when you’re pushing 40! Oh wow, I’m pushing 40…. In any case, I digress, it’s a blessing and a journey we are all looking forward to.

Back to dates, August 6 2010 was an extremely life changing day for me. That is the day that my Gogo passed away. Contrary to Missy’s thinking she is not the only one with a Gogo. She comforted me when I had my first scraped knee after an afternoon playing on Reeler Crescent. She saved me from crying whilst the maid was pulling so hard whilst plaiting my hair and was so gentle I nearly fell asleep as she was doing it. She constantly reminded me to pray without ceasing. She always advised a young lady should have her tummy in, chest out and drink lots of water. She was love, she was kindness, she was home.

When she passed we were living in Napier, New Zealand and I was working as a Network Engineer for a computer services provider which involved going to see customers all day and delivering friendly service with a smile on my face. For two weeks, all day every day Yolanda Adams’ “I’m gonna be ready” got me through it on repeat in the car. I could smile all day and go home and cry my heart out with that song getting me through. The same song has been on my mind since I found out the twins. This is no means a tragic event but it is life altering. Just as much as I couldn’t have imagined a world in which Gogo wasn’t in even if she was a million miles away, I never imagined I would be a mother of twins.

“Sight beyond what I see
You know what’s best for me
Prepare my mind, prepare my heart
For whatever comes, I’m gone’ be ready
Strength to pass any test
I feel like I’m so blessed
With you in control, I can’t go wrong
‘Cause I always know, I’m gonna be ready”

So there you have it folks, we’re having twins. All we know for now is that they are dichorionic diamniotic (DCDA) twin pregnancy is a type of twin pregnancy where each twin has its own chorionic and amniotic sacs. This type occurs most commonly with dizygotic (fraternal) twins, but may also occur with monozygotic (identical) twin pregnancies. We are all doing well and adjusting to our new reality. We have moments of being shocked we have to buy a 7 seater car, pondering how we carry two babies (this was Missy’s dilemma), I wonder how I will breastfeed two babies and I think Baba should be more concerned about the possibility of living in a house with 4 girls!

While the adults in the house are trying to plan what to do with our BOGO (Buy One Get One Free) deal: double stroller, two car seats, two cribs, navigate existing space, more clothes, more doctors visits, which hospital, daycare or nanny; Missy has declared we need a 3 bed bunk with slide to come down and stairs to go down and that its taking a really long time for them to come……… The other good news is that Gogo is coming to help us for 5 months and after September we will be very open to any visitors who have 2 hands, if they have more even better ;-).

So come next May we will be a family of 6 Baba, Mama, Missy, twins and Fishy

 

If we go down to the woods today…

Singing in the rain….

How do you summarize the onset of verbal diarrhea, seriously, that is what is literally is. From the times her eyes open to the time she goes to sleep it’s an explosion of words complete with the most adorable facial expressions and appropriate body language. A gentle reminder that this in fact a living, breathing and most definitely thinking human being who will not be ignored, even by the most disinterested of neighbors…

She has started to go to a group daycare called CEFA 3 days a week, as you can see in the picture they wear uniform so to help with the distinction we call this ‘school’ and to Natasa’s two days a week she just going to see Baka (this is Gogo in Serbian and also what Gagi calls her) and play with Gagi. She took a while to settle in. Nearly 3 months to be exact. She wasn’t unhappy but neither was she happy. She was polite, did everything she was asked to do, she ate what she could stomach (and proceed to act like a hungry street kid when we picked her up), she got by with minimal effort. We have come to the conclusion she was just observing the situation, figuring out where she fit and if these people knew what they were doing (they were going through a staffing change so a few substitute teachers came and went but the main teacher remained the same). They thought she was a model citizen and they were ‘waiting for her voice to come out’. Then her highness settled in and began to exercise said voice and say no! That was when I knew she was now comfortable and happy. LOL!

Chilling like a boss

She loves to go to school though and play with all her friends who she quite happily enquires as to whether they too are being forced to sleep at night by their dictatorial mothers. “Where’s … Raazik?”, “At his house, sleeping”. Where’s…. Isabelle?”, “At her house sleeping. “Where’s … Kaysan?”, “At his house sleeping” and so it goes on until we have named Nadia, Semra, Jai, Cameron, Nyssa (Anyssa), Amber, Krish, Cory and Nika (Annika). I am sure you can see where this is going, we also tend to be very very hungry at bedtime and we might also need to go pee pee or enquire as to whether is cloudy, raining, sunny, snowing, dark or windy. We however learnt that when it’s time no talking, no crying, just sleep which she repeats a few times to check just in case the rules have changed.

The most important event surrounding school though is the train. We take the train to school and we have 2 stops which take 5 minutes and then another 5 to 7 minutes to walk to the daycare, as long as she’s in the stroller, if she decides to walk well… I am sure you can imagine. The Skytrain system has two types of trains. The older ones are white and the newer ones are a grey/blue/black color combination. To Missy they are black. She only wants to go on the black train and she has been known to scream bloody murder if she is made to go on a white train. The trouble is that sometimes you can wait for 8 or even 10 trains before a black one come along. Oh boy, it’s painful, more so on chilly windy mornings. She’s happy bundled in the stroller, me .. not so much. I am less patient since I need to be at work by 9am, Baba can take his time cause it’s usually his day off when he takes so, so as a result she’d rather go with him because he’s willing to wait for the black train.

Snow eating Mt Seymour

We also truly began potty training a month ago and it’s been going very well, one or two accidents a week but that’s all so far. I know…. On hindsight now I can see some of your faces when at 8 months I said I would slowly start it. I abandoned that once she started to use the potty as her TV watching platform whilst she was fully clothed! She’s good at telling you when she needs to go and now she only has a pull-up diaper at night. Over the weekend we had just had breakfast and we were skyping Gogo when she started to run to the toilet saying I need to do poo, I started to run behind her and then she turned back around, ran to her books and was yelling “Book, book Mama, duck book”, “Really is this your priority right now, reading, I thought you wanted to poo?”. Then I can only imagine out of desperation she grabs a book and runs back to the toilet, I help her on and she says “close door mama…please..” and she proceeds to do her business and read the book out loud! Hmmmmm, I think I missed the memo, when did this start…. LOL! Now it’s standard procedure.

 

Going Shopping

Missy likes to help us cook and clean up. For Christmas, Baka gave her a set of pots, pans and utensils that she has ‘picnics’ with and she cooks her pasta and chickpeas. She cautions us that ‘it is hot and no touch mama’. Then we have to sit down and let her mix then we can try some. She is also dying to go to the beach and I keep telling her she has to wait until it’s sunny and warmer…. She keeps agreeing but I am not sure we’re on the same page because two days later I get the same question. Her birthday is also always tomorrow and she’s guaranteed to have a party and lots of presents.

I took her to a Goodnoise Gospel Choir concert on Sunday, 5 minutes in she complained it was too loud and she proceeded to start singing Happy Birthday Baba just went the solo was going into a beautiful rendition of ‘Oh Happy Day’, you know at the beginning when the music is melodic and soft…Missy starts her own song,clapping as she jumps on the pew… Popular music is not her thing by any stretch of the imagination. If you play the radio in the car or at home, play my own music I get ‘Turn it off mama!’, she can tolerate her father’s reggae, namely ‘One Step Forward’ by Max Romeo, I think mostly because of the actions that go with it. The clear winner is Classical Music, that is the only music that doesn’t get dismissed or deemed as too loud. It started off with The Very Hungry Caterpillar on Netflix. The program is accompanied by what I think is very average imagery and animation and classical music, Missy loves the book and the music seems to literally make her heart sing.

On a final note the main way I get her to do what she would rather not do now is say “Missy I am going to count to 5 then you have to do…” Now she’s taken to pre-empting it and just saying “Count to 5 Mama”….. clever little girl…

Be kind to one another people, stay blessed.

Lunar Festival Year of the Monkey

When enough is enough

Art is Smart

This post on a couple of events that happened August 15^th and August 24^th 2015!

I wrote them down in September and then I meant to post them and well now’s it’s February… Go figure….. But I am on a roll now I think. More to come, in the meantime pretend it’s August 2015….

First and foremost Malaika now officially has a nickname which she has wholly embraced. It really began a few days after she was born. Gogo would send messages asking after Missy. She has been referred to as such on and off and I didn’t realize was that this is what they were mostly calling her at daycare. In the last few weeks she refers to herself as Missy, so much so that if you call her Malaika you seldom get a response. So if you need a response: call her Missy.

So anyway Missy and Gagi have become best friends. Gagi is Natasa’s grandson, his given name is Mateo. They have been spending many days together and now request each other’s presence sometimes as soon as their eyes open in the morning. Natasa and Malaika were making a cake for Gagi’s birthday party the following day. They had co-operatively made the cake together and when it came to tidying up Natasa told Missy that she couldn’t help with that part. She was to step aside, sit down and have a snack whilst she tidies up. Missy did not take too kindly to this dismissal. She wasn’t happy but she didn’t kick and fuss nor throw a tantrum instead she headed to the entrance way, picked up her backpack, went to door and started knocking. She wanted to be let out; she wanted to let Natasa know that she had options and didn’t have to put up with such treatment! Enough was enough! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall. It took some time and lots of apologies but she came around eventually and put down her backpack. I am sure is she could have articulated it she was would have said “Don’t do that again, he’s my friend after all!”

Happy Birthday Baba

The next incident was on her father’s birthday. We were going to have dinner with Uncle Matt and Aunt Andrea. We got home and I decided to make her a pizza to nibble on since we were still waiting for Baba to get home and we would then drive to their house. I was trying to act as quickly as I could before the native revolted, overtaken by hunger. Missy asked for juice, she had been into the storage room and there was none, she looked in the fridge and also came up empty. Missy, it’s all gone, we will have to ask Baba to buy some more when he gets home. She nodded in agreement and walked away, well that was a fairly good outcome I thought to myself as I carried on in the kitchen. Next thing I hear is ‘Door! Door! Door!’ ‘Malaika urikuda kuenda kupi (where do you want to go)?”. No response except more requests for ‘Door!’ I was trying to get things going so I ignored the requests that were now turning into screams and tears. I just managed to put the pizza in the oven and then went to the door, after more prodding I opened the door to see where it would lead. She went out and straight to the elevator then asked “Where Baba?”, “Ummm, Baba varikubasa, vanodzoka manje manje” (He’s at work he’ll be back just now), “Oh”. She then plonks herself in front of the elevator and won’t move… “Missy, handei mumba” (Let’s go in the house). “Baba, juice” and that was that. So we sat outside the elevator and waited. A couple of neighbors came out and gave us some strange looks sitting barefoot, right outside the elevator, singing nursery rhymes… By the time Baba got home juice was long forgotten and she was just happy to see him!

A lot more words, phrases and character traits are coming through thick and fast. She can count to 10 and not just parroting off she can recognize the numbers and go forward or back depending on how she’s feeling. She just started saying most colors when she sees them, red seems to still elude her tongue. The tantrums are still pretty tame (famous last words) though she seems to have her stubborn stare-down well-rehearsed, it’s a pleasant stare down which is reserved for me when I am denying her some basic human right, it often eventually breaks into a smile or a silly face!

This is going to be an amazing ride….. let’s hope I keep remembering to share it with you…

Peekaboo

The princess is here: a day in the life of a strong-willed toddler.

Princess and her crown

Where do I begin, essentially her words have arrived and this has empowered her to well and truly establish her reign over her subjects. She can now also open and close doors by herself so she has no real need for us save for the bare necessities of life!

On, Monday, daycare was closed so Malaika had the pleasure of spending the day with Mammi (I am still quite annoyed she’s chosen to reject calling me Mama unless she wants to sugar coat her request). I am going to digress here a little. We both do our best to speak to her in Shona, tell her the Shona equivalent of things but it is easier said than done. Much to our disappointment her first words have been English ones, perhaps we are fully to blame, perhaps we are not. We’ll see how her language develops. It has made us more determined to Shona-fy her! Anyway back to our day. We started off at the library, it was story-time, a session she used to love to take part in, that was until she paid more attention to the fact there are unmaned computers outside the story-time area. I even switched off the screen before she got to it but she adamantly sat at the blank screen and banged away at the keyboard for a good chunk of time, enthusiastically forcing a kiss on me and saying bye-bye so I could leave her be. This happens a lot lately and she did it twice later on in the day, once when she wanted to hang out in her room with the door closed (turns out she has the runs, I guess no one wants to share those moments either) and another time when she was ‘on-the-phone’ with a toy car. She’s not even a teenager yet and she wants to be left alone! Anyway after the keyboard had no life left in it and she briefly bound up the stairs and then discovered other toddlers players with lego, dinosaurs and trains. This could be fun you’re thinking, until a little boy didn’t want to share his train, she grabbed it from him, he took it back, she sulked, he gave it back and he wanted him back and she smacked him! He was clearly close to melting point anyway because he cried so much he began to heave and his mother took him home….

Sunny day in the play park

We then made our way to the baby area where is a rather popular kitchen, she didn’t want to share the kitchen with another little girl who got there first, that produced a few tears and when she moved on to some books another girl wanted to read with her and she would have none of it. I told her she wouldn’t make any friends if she didn’t learn to be more friendly to which a lady produced commented “well she’s pretty enough not to have to worry about making friends!”. Really? Wow, I was at a loss, all I could say was you can’t get by on just your looks, she clearly begged to differ. After these ‘words of wisdom’ we went to watch free CBC outdoor #musicalnooners concert before going home for lunch and a nap! The rest of the afternoon included a brief bike lesson, a meltdown at WholeFoods over chips, a reading and singing session followed by dinner over Pepper Pig for her whilst I dreamed of a large glass of wine!

This was also  the first day she has been able to properly open and close a door with no hesitation. Her world is now suddenly filled with all these possibilities. The prime one being, if she doesn’t want to sleep she can just get up, open the door and be on her way to more interesting things. It used to be for many months after dinner we would brush our teeth, hop into bed, read a book or two, sing a rhyme, whisper a lullaby, have a few sips of tea, kiss and hug goodnight, I would say ‘goodnight I love you, see you tomorrow’, she would nod and wave, I would close the door and that was it until the morning. Sometimes she would stall and ask for ‘pee pee’ or ‘num num’ (food) but that was all, now she can let you leave, think you’re out of the woods, settle in for some telly and dessert and then you see this little face in the shadow, slowly creeping towards you saying ‘Mamma……what’s this?’ Before you know it, it’s been 4 attempts, your ice-cream is melted, it’s midnight and you haven’t the energy to catch up on Being Mary Jane. It’s like this all week…as my mum reminded me ‘Some mothers do have them!’

Eating chibage

We have some new words and phrases, No is still ranking at number one followed by ‘What’s this’ , ‘What is this’ (this is for when you reply incorrectly and she needs you to get it right, emphasis on the IS) , ‘Who’s this’, ‘All done’ (this generally signals the end of whatever you or she is doing), ‘Bye-bye see you’ (a must at the end of every elevator ride, screamed louder if the occupants do not respond the first time) and ‘Oh no..’. Then we have more new words book, phone, shiri (bird), car, choochoo (train). There are many more and she’s learning and asking the words for things all the time.  When she masters a new word she has to keep repeating it over and over again until you just about lose your mind. It’s hard to be stern with her, we really have to work at it. It’s funny the things you remember but I remember my mother I think either trying to shout or hit me and then she burst out laughing instead. I have been doing this at least twice a day the last week and a half I have been spending all day with her. That face looks at your and you can’t keep a straight face!

Today we are going to try uniforms for daycare and then we are off to the lake house with Uncle Matty for 4 days! A much needed break.

Have a great weekend everyone, stay curious…

I believe I can fly

p.s. we have moved on from chicken skin , we now eat the whole wing and munch on the bones…

The Skin-eater

With baby in her ‘office’

Miss Malaika is now 20 months old; 4 months shy of 2 years old! Wow, time really does fly. It’s taken me 2 weeks to actually complete this blog post; I had to change her age from 19 months. Somehow I thought at this stage I would have more time, I don’t know why… there’s no harm in dreaming.

Our child is still a picky eater and despite both of us swearing she must weigh 10kg/22pounds she’s not quite there yet. She may get there soon though because she’s taken to eating chicken skin, yes my child is a skin eater! The pediatrician said she needs to eat lots of fat and protein, she was listening and she took it to heart. How did we figure this out you ask? It started with chicken wings, she wanted to gnaw at the bone so I gave a whole one to work on, she only ate the skin, usually with meat she chews it for an age then hands it to me to dispose of. So I gave her more skin and she just kept eating. We had reached a stage where I would buy a whole chicken, roast half of it and she’d eat the whole lot in one sitting, as disgusting as it is for us to watch she’s in heaven,

Please sir, I want some more…

she keeps asking for more, more, more, complete with the hand action.

We can’t eat the chicken meat as quickly as she does the skin, luckily enough the nice lady at Whole Foods meat department has agreed to keep me the skins once a week instead of throwing them out! So there you have it, she eats crispy roast organic chicken skin free of anti-biotics and all the bad stuff. She is an African for sure her go-to foods are: mealie-meal porridge with her Grandmother’s homemade peanut butter, sadza, biltong (salt content makes me cringe but it’s protein), popcorn (maputi), rooibos tea (yes she still doesn’t drink milk or juice, just tea and water, sophisticated toddler some would say).

 

Sleeping her big bed now

She has also started swimming lessons at Aquaventures; it’s a joy to watch her take to the water more and more each week. She can stay under water for a few seconds and wants to do the routines, one more time over and over again. Now she wants to walk around the house in her swim diaper and swimming cap, what else would you on a hot summer evening! With any luck she’ll teach her mum how to swim. Seriously I should learn, I may need to save her one day… my one day should come sooner rather than later.

 

The most popular word is NO. I am sure this is the case in most households with toddlers. Is it an indication of what everyone is always saying to them? Perhaps… Once they learn it , it’s not easily un-learnt, in our house it’s been upgraded, now instead of no we get ‘No waaaayyy’, accompanied with a head shake that has a slight shoulder shuffle… oh dear, we’re in trouble now. Her vocabulary is increasing though some things are just blanket words, in Zimbabwe every soft drink is coke and for Malaika every liquid, even the sea, is tea and most foods are sadza. Also much to my dismay every older white man is Unko a.k.a Uncle, serves us right for trying to teach her to respect her parents friends! Ha ha ha! For some reason Auntie hasn’t caught on as well. She can definitely say Harro or Hi (the former seems reserved for when she’s ‘on the phone’ with the remote, fridge magnet or anything else she thinks can pass for a phone). She also always says ‘Bye bye see you’ when we leave the elevator much to the amusement of people in our building.

 

All dressed up in Portland

She reads lot of books, or puk-puk as she calls them. She has to read during breakfast and when she’s on the toilet sometimes. Point of correction when I say read I mean: I read and she points and grunts! Occasionally she’s say the words or things she recognizes or go ‘oh-wooowww…..’ at something she deems amazing. What I find interesting is that she can always tell when a book is upside down and she goes to great lengths to put it the right way up. She’s been doing it for as long as she’s shown in interest in books from about 10 months old when she was painstakingly crawling to get to them and trying to flip the pages.

 

I didn’t think much of my request that Baba should pass by IKEA and get a few things one of which was a step for the bathroom. She’s getting too heavy to carry whilst we go through the bedtime teeth brushing routine: first I rub them with a cloth, then she ‘brushes’ whilst I brush, then we both rinse and wipe clean the sink. I made the mistake of introducing the step just before bedtime last night, wow, she was soo excited and then she didn’t want to step down. It took 15 minutes to eventually drag her away kicking and screaming. Then she took an age to actually fall asleep, she was too wound up to sleep. I firmly believe she dreamt about all the things she can now do 5 inches taller….Now she carts the step all over the house trying to see what she’s been missing out on and she quite figured out she can use it to reach all those things we’ve trying to keep out of her reach….

So the grass is singing and summer is here! We are already starting to be able to wear shorts, turning on the fan to cool down and missy has learnt that she can say ‘ice biz’ (please) pointing to the freezer with a little bowl in her hands, ice will appear and she can happy suck away at it. Of course she’s not doing this for the purposes of ‘cooling down’ it’s just a kids-ice-thing!

p.s. No more breastfeeding, stopped at 17 months when I went to LA to meet Auntie Nove for a few days, came back and it had dried up! Whoop whoop! Seriously, it was a relief…

Games on the iPhone, friend or foe?

Malaika Fierce

Oh christmas tree

Towards the end of last year Natasa was quite sick. For a month we juggled looking after Malaika as she couldn’t go to daycare. The other family found a place for their son in a group daycare so when Natasa was better Malaika went back to daycare on her own.

Natasa has a grandson Mateo who is about Malaika’s age. At least twice a week either they go over to Richmond to spend the day playing or he comes downtown with his mother. They’ve become great friends. Natasa says they play and interact in a way she doesn’t often kids that age do.

Yesterday they went to a playground. There were hardly any kids around which is good because they can have free reign of the place. After a little while an older boy came over to hang around. Mateo was playing with a ball. Malaika was a little ways away doing her own thing. The boy came over and took Mateo’s ball. Mateo didn’t resist. He didn’t kick & scream or attempt to get the ball back but he clearly wasn’t happy about it, he was a little sad as his grandma put it. Malaika came over , stood in front of the boy , took the ball back and have it to Mateo. And that ladies & gentlemen is what friends are for.

Wish I could have been there…. Considering Malaika is quite small for her age that’s pretty brave. I am soo proud of her.

Here’s wishing your New Year is brave, strong, courageous and in the spirit of friendship & standing up for what you believe in and those you love.

Have a blessed week

p.s. apparently we like cooking

What’s cooking good looking

 

 

All I want for christmas is…. rice cakes

Onesie

Last night Malaika ate her dinner, by herself from start to finish. This is not from lack of trying on her part but usually I intervene because I feel she’s taking too long and I want to take advantage of a good run before she loses interest. Last night her highness wasn’t having it, she took hold of that fork and she wasn’t letting it go for anyone. She brought the plate closer to her chest with one hand to avoid spillage, Gogo Parktown would be proud, she’d say “arikushandisa munyati” (she’s using her brain). She ploughed through her rice, occasionally picked up some chicken breast , checked it for what I can only imagine is poison given the suspicious look on her face, gobbled it up, pick up the fork and nibbled on more rice. Once she had eaten most of it and what was left was a little too fiddley for her chunky cutlery to navigate she used her fingers to literally pick up and eat every last grain. If I didn’t know better I would check for signs of kwashiorkor, poor child must be starved! Thank you @biglousbutcher , my daughter has only been eating meat in the form of mince or disguised in whatever she’s eating. Whilst she was eating her rice she would occasionally take a few sips of her tea and wash down her gourmet meal.

Let me elaborate on the tea drinking. She still doesn’t drink milk. With all dairy products except for butter she simply smells them and turns away in mild disdain. If it makes it into her mouth she swallows it but puts her hand up ever so emphatically and that is the end of that. We have decided she’s lactose intolerant and her body is telling her to stay away from it. As a result she will be breastfed until she starts to eat enough calcium-rich foods that we won’t be at risk of having a osteoporotic toddler! At any rate what she does drink a lot of is water and rooibos tea. The tea is Rooibos Cape Town from @TheTeaPlace1, infused with lovely flowers and fruit , no sugar, just tea. She doesn’t like juice or any other liquid really. Her Auntie Cher thinks she’s sophisticated, her friend Malaika (what are the chances there’s two of them in Vancouver?) who is 4 thinks it’s just silly, I tend to agree.

After our meal she took great pleasure in helping me sweep up the bits of rice that didn’t make it into her mouth, even holding up the dust pan, it was going really well until she started to pick the rice from the dust pan and eating them! A lesson in domestic hygiene is sorely needed…

Tidy up time

As you may have gathered she’s running around now. Talking a mile a minute complete with hand actions too. The main problem is she still doesn’t say things we understand so we pretend to have a conversation, totally agree, act appropriately chagrined on her behalf and most of the time seem to get it right. Occasionally we don’t and she looks at you as if to say ‘That’s totally not what I am saying!” Her strong will continues to shine through, my only hope is that she learns to be flexible and admit when she’s wrong, something my mother wisely says is up to us all to teach and guide her through. Here’s a funny picture, on the day in question it was -2 degrees out, we were going to an Eco Fashion Vintage Pop-up Shop. It wasn’t raining, she’d newly discovered her love of umbrellas. She insisted to she hold the umbrella all the way out of our building and  on the 10 minute walk to the pop-up shop. Thank goodness this phase only lasted a day or two. It’s tricky to navigate a stroller downtown, around lots of other pedestrians whilst trying to help her keep up the umbrella. And of course something would catch her eye and she’s simply let the umbrella go then look at me in annoyance when it hit the ground, huh.. duh…..

RainCouver

Favorites snacks at the moment are LoveChild Organics pat-a-cakes (rice crackers) and toodle-o’s (which are essentially cheerios without the sugar and packed full of goodness) , all sweetened with fruit which is good not only because it’s better for her BUT mainly because she still doesn’t seem to like sweet things. No complaints here at all! Thank you @lc_organics.

We’ve also done a photoshoot for a local kids store : Parade Baby ! Now who wouldn’t want to buy from her? She’d sell ice to an inuit no doubt…

 

Drop Everything

My sun and my moon

Watching the world go by

Today Malaika Rudo Mudzamba is 1-year-old. That’s 365 days, that’s 52 weeks and 1 day. There have been many highs and lows, the lows have been higher than I have ever been. My life has been turned upside down and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They say having children changes your life, I say it gives you a new life and if you pay attention and learn from them, it’s better than your old life could ever have been. I read a blog once entitled ‘I gave birth to my boss’, this is soo true and my boss is uncompromising…

The mayhem of summer adventures, travel and visitors has been over for nearly a month now. I had to hit the ground running at work because of a few big projects we are working on so there was no easing into it. Malaika had not settled into daycare as well as I had hoped, we had to go get her  early a few times but it’s all coming right now. She spends her days with Natasa and a little boy called Hank. Hank is a big boy, he’s a couple of months older and they’ll be best friends in no time. For now, Natasa says she keeps Malaika close because Hank could easily knock her over until she gets stronger and more confident on her feet. Natasa has been moving her hand up and down and saying no when he looks like her might bowl her over, now apparently Malaika has learnt the hand action and so she can protect her personal space on her own now. One thing is very clear about Malaika, she knows what she wants, she’s persistent and she is strong-willed. Hence we are sure the reason why she hasn’t taken the whole you’re spending the day at daycare and not at home lying down.

We still only have 6 teeth, yes Auntie Anne I am checking and counting BUT now we can take a few steps on our own AND we can have whole conversations , well monologues, which the idiots around us don’t seem to understand because they don’t respond appropriately! But she doesn’t mind she carries on happy as Larry. Her favorite things to play with: the remotes are still number one, then mobile phones and also thanks to the advice of Mai Nove, AKA Gogo London, when Mama is cooking the bottom kitchendraw that is full of containers and lids gets a complete makeover all the way to empty and doesn’t get refilled until an adult nearly trips on something and puts everything back in frustration!

She loves to stand by the windows and look down to see what’s going on across the road, on the road, giggle at the birds flying and landing on the building across the road, watching people cycling and walking by. It’s constant entertainment and she spends a lot of time taking it all in. On the food front it’s still mealie meal porridge for breakfast, I tried to go back to the other cereal one morning I woke up a bit late and hadn’t cooked it, it was an epic fail. She’s eating well at daycare and then at night now she just eats what we eat: rice, stuffed pasta (only way to sneak in cheese cause she still doesn’t seem to like diary), baked potatoes. As long as it’s not mushy and she can chew it, she’s good. Meat is not a favorite, I guess the chewing isn’t easy with only 6 teeth but she’s have a couple of mouthfuls of fish. Carrots are still in, green beans are out along with mashed potatoes.

Books, books, books are a favorite too. All her books are the bottom of the bookcase and she habitually takes them all out and flips through them, I noticed the other day she can tell if they are upside down and turns them around (did I already mention my child’s a genius?). Two books are at the top of the list: The Very Hungry Caterpillar (thank you Auntie Ethel) and I call it the Moo book, but it’s the one with all the animal sounds. She loved that one and its the one that been chewed the most too!

So here we are looking back on a year and its been smiles, smiles and more smiles with our Afro Canadian Princess…..

Munching on corn and grapes

Count your blessings name them one by one

Haircut

A weekly post seems more and more difficult as the back to work routine gets established but once Malaika is in daycare, visitors have gone and we both have a more predictable routine then it may very well happen but for now, posts will come as and when I get a free minute (literally).

So I have been back to work for two weeks now. As the title says I am counting my blessings and naming them one by one because it is hard to believe how smooth the transition has been. My boss and colleagues have been beyond understanding and I am very thankful that I work for an organisation that actively promotes a healthy work-life balance. I have started to go to the chiropractor to fix my ailing body (apparently my spine is straight and neck is so far forward my body feels like my head weighs 25 pounds (11 kgs). I have been going three times a week, before I go to work so I get up put her porridge on, shower, go to chiro, pass by the supermarket if needs be, come back home, breastfeed the princess and then dash to work, most times I am only into the office after 9, sometimes more like 9:30. But on the positive side she’s been happily waving goodbye when I leave and then the second I walk in she breastfeeds, then clings to me for a good hour before I am allowed to put her down, let alone out of my sight. She’s been doing great hanging out with Baba, Mbuya and Sekuru. Her eating has been less than ideal but she eats when she’s hungry which apparently these days is not that often… Breakfast and dinner are good, the rest of the day she just nibbles. The fan favourites are sourdough bread and a fruit puree recipe that I got from Auntie Ethel that has raspberries, blackberries and pears. I pour it into re-usable pouches and she happily sucks away at it! She refuses to drink cow or goat milk, just even smelling them she turns away and raises her hand in protest, she’s not having it. I made a vain attempt at trying to give her formula too, it didn’t even get a lick in, she just smelt it and turned away. I am going to pump whilst I am at work and see if she’ll drink that. If not, c’est la vie, she’s missed the boat and it may be time for weaning.

Dinner has been a consistently good meal and the trick we have discovered is variety and eating together. If we all sit and eat, she’ll eat off everyone’s plate and eat way more than she would of her own food in her own plate. So as a result she eats what we eat, so that means very little salt in all food, not a welcome nor easy feat in a Zimbabwean household but its working so far.

Potty training is going as well as can be expected at this stage. We put her on the potty when she wakes in the morning and from her naps, sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn’t. The other day I got a number one and two! It felt like Christmas! I happily snapped away and Whatsapp-ed them to a few people, much to Auntie Nove’s disgust, “OMG you’re one of those mom’s”, she says, “Hang on, you’re a nurse, thought you could handle it”, to which she cheekily replied, “You ain’t paying me” hmmm….., fair enough ~

Malaika has started to stand on her own with the confidence and speed of one just about to break into a run! She stands up, proudly pumps her chest out and coasts away like an avid surfer, when she falls she claps enthusiastically to our happy chant “Amira mira nhanha , amira mira! ” Literally translated it’s “baby is standing, standing”. It won’t be long now and she’ll be walking, then the fun will begin. As my mum pointed out life will totally slow down cause she’ll want to walk everywhere, and with her level of curiosity she’ll stop every 5 seconds to look, inspect and giggle at everything and we’ll never get anywhere fast again …joy..

She also got her first haircut thanks to Auntie Yani Pacific Hair @PacifichairV . So now she looks like a pretty boy! LOL! It actually makes her look so much more mature, no baby face. It’s cute, we all like it. So no need for anymore outcries, she no longer looks like Blue Ivy, though there was nothing wrong with it in the first place, it was just quite uneven. So no, it won’t be getting combed much, but it’ll be more even.

As parents go, we couldn’t be prouder and in the words of the late Robin Williams:

“Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying ‘I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.’ The other is ‘You want (yam) fries with that?'” (they are healthier for you..kkkkkkk)

Suffer little children to come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven

TV Watching

Summer has whizzed past and now its time to go back to work! Time flies when you are having fun, no words have rung truer and then they are now. Lots happening, more excitement to come, pity I am going back to work. Call in sick maybe…. it’s tempting.

Anyway, I digress, the biggest news of the day is that Miss Malaika was baptized on Saturday 26th July. What a blessed day it was. She was baptized at Holy Rosary Cathedral and thanks to Father Dion who was so accommodating and made it all happen before Gogo went back home. She was such a good girl, she’d had a nice long nap prior so she was refreshed and no trouble at all, even when she had water poured on her forehead three times. Thanks to all her uncles, aunties and cousins: Nina and Sanaa who helped celebrate her special day. Her chosen Saints Name, which the help of Gogo, is St. Josephine Bakhita. She was a Sudanese-born slave who lived in Italy and was canonized in 2000. Through all her hardships she was known to be always smiling, an apt name as Malaika is always smiling and happy.

She now has five teeth and is just about ready to get up and start walking. There is lots of furniture walking, pulling up and standing to reach out to anything she deems fit to put into her mouth, plus there is a renewed interest in the constant city traffic now she can get to the window herself and look out to see what’s what. She now recognises the sound of someone turning keys in the door so she looks up, smiles and then you hear the tap, tap of her little hands and legs on the hardwood floor making her way in greeting to whoever’s come home.

Ready to go shopping

As a result the apartment baby-proofing continues. It never ends, just when you relax and think it’s all good she can reach something new or you see interested in something that you hadn’t thought would be an issue at all. This week we need a baby gate for the door to the balcony, by next week I am pretty sure it’ll be something else. So here’s a funny story, when we went to playgroup last week, Gogo saw a toddler pull out and play with one of those outlet/plug protectors and when he was done, he put in back in! Oh dear, his poor parents are none-the-wiser that he’s on to it. I have seen Malaika already seem like she’s just about figured out how to pull them out. In all honestly the chances of her sticking something in there and electrocuting herself are slim to none BUT do I want to be the one-in-a-million parent it happens to? I think not.

On the food front we are doing pretty well. She has renewed interest in food, milk just doesn’t cut it anymore. So I am back to boiling, pureeing and freezing every few days. Thanks to Auntie Ethel after we got back from San Fran we have had lots of raspberry-blackberry-and-pear puree, it’s a fan favorite. I might end up having to make a huge batch that’ll last us through winter since the berries won’t be in season soon. Bread is still very much a daily staple, at least two slices a day. Sadza, sadza, sadza: thanks to Gogo, sadza is now our daily dinner must have. She eagerly gobbles it up and open her mouth wide as we can to eat it! I don’t know how long it’ll last but I am going to ride that wave whilst its high. The last two mornings she’s been eating mealie porridge too, she’s gone off her brown rice cereal as well as the mixed grain now. I feel like a circus performer when it comes to food, always trying to keep her interested, and it’s tough crowd too! And I often have to sing nursery rhymes and sunday school songs to keep her engaged as she eats. The wheels on the bus have been going round and round so much I think the tires are flat! And if Father Abraham has any more sons he’s going to need his own ark just go to get to Mass!

Never too early to brush your pearly whites..

It’s all fun and games and it’s only going to get better.

On  sad note Gogo left on Wednesday. So now she doesn’t get her morning cuddles and chat with Gogo. Tasara tega tega, takangotarisana… (we have been left all alone, staring blankly at each other).

On a brighter note her father has a month off work and will be hanging out with her all day. Ambuya and Sekuru arrive on Tuesday, Uncle Nelson arrives at the end of the month and so does Uncle Bruce, Auntie Mildred and the girls from Edmonton! For three days in August they’ll all be here , at the same time, in our tiny apartment, no one will get a word in edgeways and it’ll be grand!

 

ps. How could I forget to mention she’s been sleeping through the night, I mean at least 10 hours solid, for two weeks now! Maybe cause I didn’t want to jinx it.. insert happy dance here, quietly… and go back to sleep glorious sleep..